overwhelmed, underwhelmed, whelmed?

I wish I was just whelmed, primarily because I'm feeling ridiculously overwhelmed... Realizing that I have A LOT of work still left to do before I am anywhere NEAR being ready for my BFA show in the spring... And with the upcoming marriage of my beloved sister, and the forever impending doom of my never ending job... not to mention the countless hours that need to be paid to the succession of my final portfolio for not just Graphic Design, But ALSO.... PHOTOGRAPHY...

I am greatly over thinking this whole over achieving thing... Its wildly overrated... hm. All this time, money, sweat and tears... yeah....... kinda just want to take a huge nap. I really want to do fun things. like....

-Build a snowman (if only there was snow)
-Make tons of christmas cookies, of all different shapes, sizes and flavors...
-Decorate the house for christmas
-Have a date with my husband
-Go to Chicago with my sista
-Illustrate 4 books
-Take tons and tons of pictures of things that I think are beautiful
-Travel across the US with the hub, and just take in life.
-Sing at the top of my lungs.
-Take a walk, just to enjoy the company of my pouch and husband.
-Spend a whole day baking with my mommy.
-Make christmas ornaments.
-Scrapbook
-Organize my house, and finally get my stuff in places that I actually remember where it is.

These seem like tiny things... but its just something small and special that mean a lot to me.

My surgery went well... Its crazy that all that is FINALLY coming to a close. The scars are fading, I'm repairing, and slowly but surely... I'm becoming back to normal. A little wiser, a little richer, a little slower. Its so crazy when I have those moments where I just can't find the words I'm trying to say, I know, a common thing for some people, but not for this girl.

Oh the sound of Christmas music... what an exciting time. If only it wasn't always overshadowed with the impending doom of the end of the semester pressure. Countless portfolios to finish, books to illustrate, companies to update, exams to study for, papers to write, coffins to put together. ::sigh:: I wish I could enjoy all this, but of course... I am an advocate of PROCRASTINATION. Not sure why the thought of many sleepless days and nights, mountains of empty energy drink cans, and bags the size of my purse (if you know me, thats big, Dust calls it my luggage) under my eyes, all seem so enticing to me.

Then, I have moments like this. Its as if, I KNOW, I know that I have to spend every waking moment on homework in order for me to actually finish it all in time for next week, but yet, I'm blogging. So many thoughts whirling around in my head... I feel as if they need to escape in order for me to finally sit down and think. I wish I had a pensieve like Dumbledore. Then I could just pull out all the things that I don't need to be thinking about at that moment and just finally accomplish something.
"Didn't they always say, we were the lucky ones. But luck will leave you cause it is a faithless friend. and in the end when life has got you down, you've got someone here you can wrap your arms around. So hold on. "

I had a dream the other night. It was such a nice dream... I dreamt that I was dancing with my grandpa at my wedding. I couldn't hear the music, I'm not even sure that there was music. Its just seemed so weird because I've never had a memory of my grandpa standing up, let alone dancing. It was one of those moments, that was completely memorable, but absolutely unreal. I know he was there, with me. As I walked down the aisle, I could smell his pipe. And as I looked into the crowd, I could see him. It made me happy.

I suppose I should actually start doing something before I go to bed... seeing as SO MUCH still has to get done. Night.