Dear Jordanne,

Dear Jordanne...

Go to Bed.

Love,
The Internet.



So, after about 20 minutes of troubleshooting, I finally have internet again... Sitting back in my bedroom... apparently I have a very low signal and am having problems staying connected. Fortunately. I am currently stealing internet from my neighbor. :) Good work.

So as I sit here, sipping on coke, alone because my hub is sleeping in the basement due to his current illness which causes him to SNORE... I realize just how tired I am not... Jack apparently is tired, but cannot get comfortable as he paces from the head to the foot of the bed... hm. I know, how nice of me, kick the birthday boy out of his bed, because I am such a light sleeper that any sound wakes me up... apparently this quality makes me good mother material... but that day will not come for some time...

The last two days I've worked more than I have in the past month, Sad? Yes. Exhausting? Definitely. Hours consisting of 5pm-12:30am on Valentines Day, and then 5am-11 the following morning. Then scheduled again in the morning at 8:30-2:30... but surprisingly... I am still awake, and unable to sleep.

Sometimes I wish I could just take a photograph of all the things that are on my mind at one point in time. Oh the tangled up web of thoughts that inhabit my brain. One thing, leads to another, which leads to another... bouncing around from what I want for lunch, which leads to possible food choices, which leads to insecurities about food, which lead to insecurities I have with certain people, which leaves me feeling stupid, which makes me think about my current situation, which makes me think of the future, which of course makes me think about photography, which then leads to graduation, which inevitably makes me remember that I need to turn in my application for graduation. This of course doesn't end with graduation thoughts, but of course quickly changes to something else. Oh how the simple thought of food, makes my mind race.... Are you feeling lost yet?

Sitting in the shower, I go over random conversations I had during the day, and think of things that I probably SHOULD have said... but today... as the water washed over me... I was consumed with the odd sensation of sand on my skin. Hidden in a drawer in my vanity I forgot that I had this "Natural Sand and Acai" Scrub... ha. You weren't quite sure where I was going with this, and honestly neither do I... but it made me realize some weird things about myself. As I lathered up... the rough sand on my skin felt so good, and it made me yearn for summer, warm weather, the sun on my skin, bathing suits, flip flops, sun dresses, and green grass. With my random thought process, my mind quickly drifted... and I found myself making a list in my head of all the things I miss... at which point I wish I had a camera that could capture the inter-monologue that was unfolding in my brain.

Now lets see if I can remember...
-I miss bicycle races.
-skinned knees.
-missing teeth.
-Saturday morning cartoons.
-power rangers (the original season).
-mixed tapes.
-packing my grandpa's pipe.
-my long hair.
-painting my toes on the front porch.
-yelling "HELLLOOO" to cars as they drove by.
-staying up late [(because it wasn't allowed)].
-school picture day.
-watching M*A*S*H* and Walker Texas Ranger with my grandpa in the afternoons.
-Summer's in the Upper Peninsula.
-Celebrating the Forth of July with my extended family.
-birthday cake.
-getting toys for christmas.
-sharing a room with my sister.
-singing so loud, I'd lose my voice.
-popsicles. (on a hot summer day)
-riding my bike to 7-11, then being so incredibly warm, that I just HAD to jump in the pool.
-"Hey Arnold"
-hearing a song that I loved, and taping it off the radio.
-swinging on the swings.
-staying up late talking to my sister... and singing a duet to "A Whole New World" I of course was Jasmine. :)
-saving my money to buy something small.
-crushes.
-the closed-mouth chuckle of my Grandpa F.
-road-trips.
-paddling out to the middle of the lake and jumping in.
-having my stomach flip, because that boy smiled at me.
-new clothes.
-having braces.
-sneaking online at 2am, to read emails for someone special. (praying that the dial-up connection wouldnt be too loud.)
-taking figure skating lessons.
-coaching.
-spending time with my grandpas.
-the inappropriate sense of humor of my Uncle Greg.
-jumping off the break wall into the frigid Lake Superior water.
-walking on the beach.
-babysitting.
-rollerblading.
-shooting "hoops".
-basketball practice with DeeDee... :)
-not being able to stay up for New Years Eve...
-music of the nineties.
-singing, and not feeling sad while I do.
-school shopping.
-a fresh box of markers, crayons or colored pencils.
-finishing a painting.
-watching as the image appears in the darkroom.
-first kisses.
-a pretty sunset.
-the smell of fresh snow.
-singing along to Bible Verses. "As for me and my house, I will serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15"
-new haircut.
-new shoes.
-boy bands.
-the crunch of fresh snow.
-spending countless hours outside playing in the snow.
-playing hide and go seek on a hot summer night.
-hearing a song, that instantly makes you happy.
-sand between my toes.
-walking in the woods.
-camping.
-the smell of rain.
-short shorts.
-the sound a playing card made when clothes pinned to your bike tire.
-running through the sprinkler.
-christmas morning.
-dancing, just because I wanted to.
-bagels.
-sleeping in late.
-writing in my diary.
-love notes.
-band.
-laughing so hard my side hurt.
-late night secret phone conversations.
-doodling.
-sharpened pencils.
-eating cookies with a tall glass of milk.
-saying my prayers before i go to bed "Angel of God, my Guardian Dear...."
-slow dancing.
-half days of school.
-snow days.



the list continues.